Apartemen di Atas Apotek

Malam sebelumnya saya sudah berjanji kepada tukang pos bahwa saya akan melepaskan hal itu. Pada hari Sabtu, tanggal dua belas Desember, pukul enam kurang seperempat pagi, saya berdiri di ambang pintu yang gelap di seberang jalan dari apotek, mengingkari janji itu.

I had promised the postman, the night before, that I would leave it alone. On Saturday the twelfth of December, at a quarter to six in the morning, I was standing in a dark doorway across the street from the chemist’s, breaking that promise.

Apotek itu gelap. Di samping jendelanya ada pintu hijau yang sempit dengan nomor kuningan, dan di atas pintu itu ada dua jendela. Tirainya tertutup, tetapi ada cahaya di baliknya. Seseorang sudah bangun di atas sana.

The chemist’s was dark. Next to its window there was a narrow green door with a brass number on it, and above the door, two windows. The curtains were closed, but there was a light behind them. Somebody was awake up there.

Saya menunggu. Dingin sekali. Pasar dibuka hari itu, dan pondok-pondok di tengah alun-alun sudah siap, dengan penutup kayunya tertutup dan salju di atapnya. Beberapa jam lagi alun-alun akan penuh orang dan musik. Sekarang alun-alun kosong dan sunyi, dan saya bisa mendengar jantung saya sendiri.

I waited. It was very cold. The market opened that day, and the huts in the middle of the square were ready, with their wooden shutters closed and snow on their roofs. In a few hours the square would be full of people and music. Now it was empty and silent, and I could hear my own heart.

Pukul enam lewat lima menit, pintu hijau itu terbuka.

At five past six, the green door opened.

Ben keluar, tepat waktu. Itu rutinitasnya, dan saya sudah mempelajarinya. Dia memakai jaket merahnya, dengan tas posnya menyilang di dada, dan dia memegang sesuatu dengan kedua tangan: seikat amplop krem, selusin lebih, diikat dengan seutas tali merah. Dia menutup pintu pelan-pelan di belakangnya dan berbalik untuk memasukkan ikatan itu ke dalam tasnya.

Ben came out, right on time. It was his routine, and I had learned it. He was in his red jacket, with his postbag across his chest, and he was holding something in both hands: a bundle of cream envelopes, a dozen or more, tied with a piece of red string. He closed the door quietly behind him and turned to put the bundle in his bag.

Lalu dia mendongak dan melihat saya.

Then he looked up and saw me.

Dia tidak bergerak. Saya juga tidak. Kami berdiri di dua sisi jalan sempit itu di dalam salju yang kebiruan, dan seikat amplop itu ada di tangannya di antara kami, dan tidak ada yang bisa kami katakan yang membuatnya jadi tidak benar.

He didn’t move. Neither did I. We stood on the two sides of the narrow street in the blue snow, and the bundle of envelopes was in his hands between us, and there was nothing either of us could say that would make it not true.

“Leila,” katanya akhirnya. Suaranya sangat pelan. “Kamu sudah bilang.”

“Leila,” he said at last. His voice was very quiet. “You said.”

“Aku tahu apa yang aku katakan.”

“I know what I said.”

“Kamu bilang kamu akan melepaskan hal ini. Kemarin. Kamu menatapku dan kamu mengatakannya.”

“You said you’d leave it alone. Yesterday. You looked at me and you said it.”

“Aku tahu.”

“I know.”

Dia melihat amplop-amplop itu. Dia melihat pintu hijau. Dia melihat jam tangannya. Saya melihat dia memikirkan semuanya dengan sangat cepat, dan saya melihat saat dia memutuskan. Itu pertama kalinya saya mengerti dia laki-laki seperti apa.

He looked down at the envelopes. He looked at the green door. He looked at his watch. I saw him think it all through, very fast, and I saw the moment he decided. It was the first time I understood what kind of man he was.

“Aku harus mengantar empat belas anak sebelum pukul delapan,” katanya. “Empat belas. Mereka sudah menunggu sejak tanggal enam. Aku tidak mau membuat mereka menunggu gara-gara kamu.” Dia memasukkan amplop-amplop itu ke tasnya. “Jangan berani-berani membuatnya sedih. Umurnya delapan puluh dua.”

“I have fourteen children to deliver to before eight,” he said. “Fourteen. They’ve been waiting since the sixth. I’m not going to make them wait because of you.” He put the envelopes in his bag. “Don’t you dare upset her. She’s eighty-two.”

Lalu dia berbalik dan berjalan cepat ke arah ujung atas alun-alun, dan saya mendengar kotak surat pertama terbuka dan tertutup.

Then he turned and walked away fast towards the top of the square, and I heard the first letter box open and close.