O apartamento por cima da farmácia

Na noite anterior tinha prometido ao carteiro que deixaria isto em paz. No sábado, 12 de dezembro, às seis menos um quarto da manhã, estava num portal escuro em frente da farmácia, a quebrar a promessa.

I had promised the postman, the night before, that I would leave it alone. On Saturday the twelfth of December, at a quarter to six in the morning, I was standing in a dark doorway across the street from the chemist’s, breaking that promise.

A farmácia estava às escuras. Ao lado da montra havia uma porta verde, estreita, com um número de latão, e por cima da porta, duas janelas. As cortinas estavam fechadas, mas havia uma luz atrás delas. Alguém estava acordado lá em cima.

The chemist’s was dark. Next to its window there was a narrow green door with a brass number on it, and above the door, two windows. The curtains were closed, but there was a light behind them. Somebody was awake up there.

Esperei. Estava muito frio. O mercado abria nesse dia, e as barracas no meio da praça estavam prontas, com as portadas de madeira fechadas e neve nos telhados. Dentro de poucas horas a praça ia estar cheia de gente e de música. Agora estava vazia e silenciosa, e eu ouvia o meu próprio coração.

I waited. It was very cold. The market opened that day, and the huts in the middle of the square were ready, with their wooden shutters closed and snow on their roofs. In a few hours the square would be full of people and music. Now it was empty and silent, and I could hear my own heart.

Às seis e cinco, a porta verde abriu-se.

At five past six, the green door opened.

O Ben saiu, à hora certa. Era a rotina dele, e eu já a conhecia. Trazia o casaco vermelho, a bolsa do correio ao peito, e levava uma coisa nas duas mãos: um maço de envelopes cor de creme, uma dúzia ou mais, atado com um cordel vermelho. Fechou a porta sem fazer barulho e virou-se para pôr o maço na bolsa.

Ben came out, right on time. It was his routine, and I had learned it. He was in his red jacket, with his postbag across his chest, and he was holding something in both hands: a bundle of cream envelopes, a dozen or more, tied with a piece of red string. He closed the door quietly behind him and turned to put the bundle in his bag.

Então levantou os olhos e viu-me.

Then he looked up and saw me.

Não se mexeu. Eu também não. Estávamos dos dois lados da rua estreita, na neve azul, e o maço de envelopes estava nas mãos dele, entre nós, e nada do que um de nós dissesse faria com que aquilo não fosse verdade.

He didn’t move. Neither did I. We stood on the two sides of the narrow street in the blue snow, and the bundle of envelopes was in his hands between us, and there was nothing either of us could say that would make it not true.

“Leila”, disse por fim. A voz dele era muito baixa. “Tu disseste.”

“Leila,” he said at last. His voice was very quiet. “You said.”

“Sei o que disse.”

“I know what I said.”

“Disseste que deixavas isto em paz. Ontem. Olhaste para mim e disseste.”

“You said you’d leave it alone. Yesterday. You looked at me and you said it.”

“Eu sei.”

“I know.”

Olhou para os envelopes. Olhou para a porta verde. Olhou para o relógio. Vi-o pensar em tudo isto muito depressa, e vi o momento em que decidiu. Foi a primeira vez que percebi que tipo de homem ele era.

He looked down at the envelopes. He looked at the green door. He looked at his watch. I saw him think it all through, very fast, and I saw the moment he decided. It was the first time I understood what kind of man he was.

“Tenho catorze crianças a quem entregar antes das oito”, disse. “Catorze. Esperam desde dia seis. Não as vou fazer esperar por tua causa.” Pôs os envelopes na bolsa. “Não te atrevas a magoá-la. Tem oitenta e dois anos.”

“I have fourteen children to deliver to before eight,” he said. “Fourteen. They’ve been waiting since the sixth. I’m not going to make them wait because of you.” He put the envelopes in his bag. “Don’t you dare upset her. She’s eighty-two.”

Depois virou-se e foi-se embora depressa em direção à parte de cima da praça, e ouvi abrir-se e fechar-se a primeira caixa do correio.

Then he turned and walked away fast towards the top of the square, and I heard the first letter box open and close.