A grande neve

À meia-noite de sexta-feira atravessei a praça de volta e parei à porta da loja do meu pai, porque pela montra o vi a chorar.

At midnight on Friday I came back across the square and stopped outside my father’s shop, because through the window I could see him crying.

Tinha passado a noite no mercado e depois andado por meia cidade, com o cartão de Simon Rourke na carteira e a gaveta fechada à chave da Hannah na cabeça, para não ter de me sentar diante de uma caixa registadora com um pai que agora só falava comigo de leite. As luzes da loja estavam apagadas, menos a que ficava por cima do balcão. O meu pai estava no meio da loja, entre o pão e os jornais, e a minha irmã estava com ele, e ele abraçava-a. Nenhum dos dois dizia nada. Choravam os dois, como choram as pessoas que já não o faziam há muito tempo.

I had spent the evening at the market and then walked round half the city, with Simon Rourke’s card in my wallet and Hannah’s locked drawer in my head, so that I wouldn’t have to sit across a till from a father who now spoke to me only about milk. The lights in the shop were off except the one over the counter. My father was standing in the middle of the shop, between the bread and the newspapers, and my sister was standing with him, and he was holding her. Neither of them was saying anything. They were both crying, the way people do who haven’t done it for a long time.

Nunca tinha visto o meu pai chorar. Nem sequer no funeral da minha mãe.

I had never seen my father cry. Not even at my mother’s funeral.

Não entrei. O que diziam um ao outro tinha demorado dez anos a ser dito, e não era meu. Dei duas voltas à praça na neve, junto às cabanas escuras, e quando voltei a loja também estava às escuras. Entrei pela porta lateral e subi para a cama, e fiquei acordado, a ouvir os dois a falar baixinho na loja, por baixo de mim, até às duas.

I didn’t go in. Whatever they were saying to each other had taken ten years to say, and it was not mine. I walked round the square twice in the snow, past the dark huts, and when I came back the shop was dark too. I let myself in by the side door and went up to bed, and lay awake listening to the two of them talking quietly in the shop below me until two.

A neve começou a sério às quatro e não parou.

The snow began in earnest at four, and didn’t stop.

Quando desci, às sete, a praça estava branca e silenciosa, e a neve no balcão da cabana mais próxima tinha a altura da minha mão. Os autocarros vinham atrasados. Na rádio, alguém disse que o lago do parque estava gelado o suficiente para se andar em cima, mas que as pessoas não o deviam fazer. Peguei na vassoura grande, nas traseiras da loja, e fui direito à cabana do Sr. Pike, porque o tinha escrito no caderno e sublinhado.

When I came down at seven, the square was white and silent and the snow on the counter of the nearest hut was as deep as my hand. The buses were late. Someone on the radio said the pond in the park had frozen hard enough to walk on, and that people shouldn’t. I took the long broom from the back of the shop and went straight to Mr Pike’s hut, because I had written it in my notebook and underlined it.

Demorei quarenta minutos. Subi para uma caixa nas traseiras e empurrei a neve do velho telhado plano em lençóis longos e pesados, enquanto ela continuava a cair-me na cabeça. Às oito o telhado estava limpo, e os suportes por baixo estavam exatamente como na quarta-feira.

It took me forty minutes. I stood on a box at the back and pushed the snow off the flat old roof in long heavy sheets, while it went on falling on my head. By eight the roof was clear, and the brackets underneath looked exactly as they had on Wednesday.

Às onze, o telhado estava branco outra vez.

By eleven, the roof was white again.

Era o último sábado antes do Natal, e o mercado nunca tinha tido tanta gente. Vinham pessoas de toda a cidade, de botas e gorros, porque a neve o tornava lindo. O carrossel girava com neve nos cavalinhos. O coro da Ruth cantava nos degraus da igreja, com neve nos gorros. Havia filas em todas as cabanas, e a maior era a do Sr. Pike, porque as velas dele eram a coisa mais antiga do mercado, e as pessoas gostam de coisas antigas no Natal.

It was the last Saturday before Christmas, and the market was the busiest it had been. People came from all over the city, in boots and hats, because the snow made it beautiful. The carousel turned with snow on its little horses. Ruth’s choir sang on the church steps with snow on their hats. There were queues at every hut, and the longest was at Mr Pike’s, because his candles were the oldest thing in the market, and people like old things at Christmas.

À uma da tarde o Marco passou com uma caixa de lenha e olhou para o telhado do Pike. — Aquilo precisa de ser limpo outra vez — disse. — Agora. É neve molhada. É pesada.

At one o’clock Marco came past with a box of firewood and looked up at Pike’s roof. “That wants clearing again,” he said. “Now. It’s wet snow. It’s heavy.”