Di Atas Penatu

Daniel tidak bertanya apa yang telah terjadi. Ia memandangi tas Ana, lalu menatap jendela toko roti yang menyala di belakangnya, tempat Walter masih duduk di meja dapur sambil menundukkan kepala. Kemudian ia menggerakkan ibu jarinya ke arah kursi-kursi. “Naiklah,” katanya pelan. “Di sini hangat, dan kopinya sangat buruk. Kamu akan merasa seperti di rumah sendiri.”

Daniel did not ask what had happened. He looked at her bag, then at the lit window of the bakery behind her, where Walter was still sitting at the kitchen table with his head bowed. Then he jerked his thumb towards the seats. “Get on,” he said quietly. “It’s warm in here, and the coffee’s terrible. You’ll feel right at home.”

Ana naik ke bus. Daniel menutup pintu, lalu bus pun melaju dari Bridge Street, melewati jendela-jendela toko Shah’s yang gelap serta rumah-rumah kosong di nomor tiga dan lima. Ana tidak menoleh ke belakang. Ia duduk di kursi depan dengan tas di atas lututnya dan memperhatikan kotanya berlalu, kelabu dan setengah tertidur, sementara langit perlahan berubah dari hitam menjadi biru tua.

She got on. He closed the doors, and the bus pulled away from Bridge Street, past the dark windows of Shah’s and the empty houses at numbers three and five. Ana did not look back. She sat in the front seat with her bag on her knees and watched the town go past, grey and half asleep, while the sky slowly turned from black to dark blue.

Itu adalah putaran terakhir dari giliran kerjanya. Ada tiga penumpang: dua petugas kebersihan yang menuju rumah sakit dan seorang pria berjas yang jelas-jelas belum pulang sama sekali. Tidak ada yang memperhatikan wanita muda di kursi depan yang menceritakan malam terburuk dalam hidupnya kepada sopir dengan suara lirih.

It was the last round of his shift. There were three passengers: two cleaners going to the hospital and a man in a suit who had obviously not been home at all. Nobody paid any attention to the young woman in the front seat who was telling the driver, in a low voice, the worst night of her life.

Ia menceritakan semuanya kepada Daniel: lagu itu, jendela itu, foto itu, Jess yang berlari melewatinya dalam kegelapan, kunci-kunci di atas meja. Daniel menyetir dan mendengarkan. Ia tidak mengatakan sudah kubilang juga apa, meskipun ia berhak mengatakannya. Ketika Ana selesai bercerita, Daniel terdiam selama dua pemberhentian penuh.

She told him everything: the song, the window, the photo, Jess running past her in the dark, the keys on the table. Daniel drove and listened. He did not say I told you so, although he had every right to. When she had finished, he was quiet for two whole stops.

“Baiklah,” katanya akhirnya. “Inilah yang akan terjadi. Saat giliran kerjaku selesai, kamu ikut pulang ke tempatku. Aku punya tempat tidur sofa. Itu bukan tempat tidur sofa yang bagus, sebenarnya cukup buruk, tetapi itu milikmu selama kamu membutuhkannya. Grace hanya menginap pada akhir pekan.”

“Right,” he said finally. “Here’s what’s going to happen. When my shift finishes, you’re coming back to my place. I’ve got a sofa bed. It’s not a good sofa bed, it’s actually quite a bad one, but it’s yours for as long as you need it. Grace only stays at the weekend.”

“Daniel, aku tidak bisa…”

“Daniel, I can’t…”

“Kamu bisa, dan kamu akan melakukannya. Pilihan lainnya adalah bangku di stasiun, dan aku sudah pernah melihat bangku itu. Itu lebih buruk daripada sofaku.” Ia melirik Ana di cermin. “Lagi pula, aku butuh seseorang yang bisa kalah bermain catur melawanku. Grace mulai sering menang. Itu buruk untuk rasa percaya diriku.”

“You can, and you will. The alternative is the bench at the station, and I’ve seen that bench. It’s worse than my sofa.” He glanced at her in the mirror. “Besides, I need somebody to lose at chess to me. Grace has started winning. It’s bad for my confidence.”

Apartemen Daniel berada di atas penatu di Mill Road, dua jalan dari depo bus. Tempat itu kecil dan hangat serta berbau serbuk pencuci pakaian dari mesin-mesin di lantai bawah. Ada gambar-gambar anak-anak di seluruh pintu kulkas: bus ungu, kucing berkaki enam, pria berjanggut yang jelas-jelas adalah Daniel. Sebuah papan catur diletakkan di ambang jendela, di tengah-tengah sebuah permainan.

Daniel’s flat was above the launderette on Mill Road, two streets from the bus depot. It was small and warm and smelled of washing powder from the machines downstairs. There were children’s drawings all over the fridge: a purple bus, a cat with six legs, a man with a beard who was clearly Daniel. A chessboard stood on the windowsill, in the middle of a game.

Ia menarik tempat tidur sofa itu, yang mengeluarkan bunyi seperti hewan sekarat, dan memberinya dua selimut serta bantal bergambar kelinci kartun. Kemudian ia pergi tidur di kamarnya sendiri, karena ia harus menyetir lagi malam itu. Ana berbaring dengan pakaian yang masih melekat. Ia mengira ia tidak akan pernah bisa tidur. Namun, ia tertidur selama sembilan jam.

He pulled out the sofa bed, which made a noise like a dying animal, and gave her two blankets and a pillow with a cartoon rabbit on it. Then he went to sleep in his own room, because he had to drive again that night. Ana lay down in her clothes. She thought she would never sleep. She slept for nine hours.

Ketika ia bangun, hari sudah tengah sore dan ponselnya penuh dengan pesan. Tidak ada satu pun yang berasal dari Jess. Ana telah mengirim pesan kepadanya enam kali pada malam hari, pesan panjang dan pendek, permintaan maaf dan penjelasan. Dua tanda centang abu-abu kecil di samping setiap pesan menunjukkan bahwa Jess telah membaca semuanya. Ia belum membalas satu pun.

When she woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and her phone was full of messages. None of them were from Jess. Ana had written to her six times in the night, long messages and short ones, apologies and explanations. Two small grey ticks next to each one showed that Jess had read them all. She had not answered a single one.