Bagian Priya

Ana tidak kembali ke flat Daniel malam itu. Dia berjalan lurus dari kanal ke Bridge Street dan membunyikan bel flat kecil di atas Shah’s. Waktu itu hampir pukul sepuluh. Priya membuka pintu dengan jubah mandinya, memegang secangkir teh di satu tangan dan televisi berbunyi keras di belakangnya.

Ana did not go back to Daniel’s flat that night. She walked straight from the canal to Bridge Street and rang the bell of the small flat above Shah’s. It was nearly ten. Priya opened the door in her dressing gown, with a cup of tea in one hand and the television talking loudly behind her.

Satu tatapan ke wajah Ana sudah cukup. Priya mematikan televisi tanpa bertanya apa pun dan memasang ketel lagi. Flatnya kecil, hangat, dan penuh foto: pernikahan, bayi-bayi, Priya muda mengenakan sari kuning berdiri di depan toko pada hari pertamanya, tiga puluh tahun lalu, bersama seorang pria yang sangat bangga di sampingnya.

One look at Ana’s face was enough. Priya turned off the television without asking anything and put the kettle on again. Her flat was small and warm and full of photographs: weddings, babies, a young Priya in a yellow sari standing in front of the shop on its first day, thirty years ago, with a very proud man beside her.

Ana menceritakan kepadanya tentang kunjungan Helen ke perahu, tentang amplop dan angka dengan semua angka nolnya, dan tentang keputusan Michael. Ketika dia mengucapkan kata-kata untuk Jess, Priya meletakkan cangkirnya di atas meja dengan sangat hati-hati hingga tidak menimbulkan suara.

Ana told her about Helen’s visit to the boat, about the envelope and the number with all its zeros, and about Michael’s decision. When she said the words for Jess, Priya put her cup down on the table so carefully that it did not make a sound.

“Anak laki-laki yang bodoh, keras kepala, dan tampan itu,” katanya pelan. “Dia akan menyerahkan toko roti ibunya demi membeli maaf dari putrinya. Dan putrinya bahkan tidak akan tahu mengapa dia perlu dimaafkan.” Dia menatap Ana cukup lama, seolah sedang memutuskan sesuatu. Lalu dia duduk dengan berat di kursi berlengannya. “Duduklah, sayangku. Aku akan menceritakan kepadamu sesuatu yang belum pernah kuceritakan kepada siapa pun. Tidak kepada suamiku, semoga Tuhan mengistirahatkannya. Tidak juga kepada anak-anakku sendiri.”

“That stupid, stubborn, beautiful boy,” she said quietly. “He is going to give away his mother’s bakery to buy his daughter’s forgiveness. And she won’t even know why he needs forgiving.” She looked at Ana for a long time, as if she was deciding something. Then she sat down heavily in her armchair. “Sit down, my dear. I’m going to tell you something I have never told anyone. Not my husband, God rest him. Not my own children.”

Ana duduk. Priya memegang cangkirnya dengan kedua tangan, meski cangkir itu sudah kosong, dan menatap ke arah jendela yang gelap. Di seberang jalan, toko roti itu juga gelap. Walter pasti sudah tidur sekarang, sampai pukul setengah tiga.

Ana sat down. Priya held her cup in both hands, although it was empty, and looked at the dark window. Across the road the bakery was dark too. Walter would be asleep by now, until half past two.

“Kamu tahu bahwa aku melihat api itu dari jendelaku,” Priya memulai. “Bahwa aku menelepon dinas pemadam kebakaran dan berlari menyeberangi jalan dengan baju tidurku. Bahwa Walter keluar dari pintu depan lebih dulu, menggendong Jess dengan selimut. Semua itu benar. Aku sudah menceritakannya ratusan kali.”

“You know that I saw the fire from my window,” Priya began. “That I phoned the fire service and ran across the road in my nightdress. That Walter came out of the front door first, carrying Jess in a blanket. All of that is true. I have told it a hundred times.”

“Apa yang belum pernah kuceritakan kepada siapa pun adalah hal ini. Ketika Walter keluar, aku berlari ke arahnya dan mengambil bayi itu dari dekapannya, karena dia gemetar begitu hebat hingga aku takut dia akan menjatuhkannya. Dan ketika aku dekat dengannya, aku mencium baunya. Pada napasnya, pada pakaiannya. Wiski. Banyak sekali. Bukan bau orang yang hanya minum satu gelas agar tetap hangat.”

“What I have never told anybody is this. When Walter came out, I ran to him and took the baby from his arms, because he was shaking so much I was afraid he would drop her. And when I was close to him, I smelled it. On his breath, on his clothes. Whisky. A lot of it. Not the smell of a man who has had one glass to keep warm.”

Ana tidak bergerak. Priya mengangguk perlahan, seolah-olah Ana baru saja mengatakan sesuatu. “Kamu sudah tahu,” katanya. “Aku bisa melihatnya. Dia sudah memberitahumu. Baguslah. Jadi aku tidak perlu menjelaskan semuanya.”

Ana did not move. Priya nodded slowly, as if Ana had said something. “You knew already,” she said. “I can see it. He told you. Good. Then I don’t have to explain everything.”

“Aku sudah melihat botol-botol itu di tempat sampahnya selama bertahun-tahun,” lanjutnya. “Aku mengeluarkan tempat sampah untuk separuh jalan ini setiap hari Selasa, sayangku, aku melihat semuanya. Setelah Mary meninggal, ada satu botol setiap minggu, lalu dua botol. Aku tidak berkata apa-apa. Walter adalah sahabatku, dan dia sedang berduka, dan tempat sampah seseorang adalah urusannya sendiri.” Dia memejamkan mata. “Dan keesokan paginya, Michael berdiri di depan tokoku dan mengatakan kepada seluruh warga jalan bahwa dia lupa mematikan oven. Dan aku tahu. Aku langsung tahu bahwa itu tidak benar.”

“I had seen the bottles in his bin for years,” she went on. “I take out the bins for half the street on Tuesdays, my dear, I see everything. After Mary died, there was a bottle every week, then two. I said nothing. Walter was my friend, and he was grieving, and a man’s bin is his own business.” She closed her eyes. “And the next morning, Michael stood in front of my shop and told the whole street that he had left the oven on. And I knew. I knew immediately that it wasn’t true.”