结冰的池塘

结冰的池塘

The Frozen Pond

Edith Green住在药店楼上,要爬三十一级楼梯。星期三我手里拿着一个蛋糕,数了一下。

Edith Green lives above the chemist’s, up thirty-one stairs. I counted them on Wednesday with a cake in my hands.

“Clara Novak,”我还没说话,她在门口就说了。“我认得你的鞋。你走路像老师。”

“Clara Novak,” she said at the door, before I spoke. “I know your shoes. You walk like a teacher.”

她八十二岁,又小又瘦,戴着圆圆的眼镜,眼镜挂在一条链子上。她的眼睛现在不好了。她说她能看见我的样子,可是看不见我的脸。

She is eighty-two, small and thin, with round glasses on a chain. Her eyes are bad now. She can see the shape of me, she says, but not my face.

我们坐在她的小厨房里,我说了二十分钟。她一次也没有打断我。

We sat in her little kitchen, and I talked for twenty minutes. She didn’t stop me once.

Edith双手捧着杯子听。然后她问了几个问题,那些问题不太好听。

Edith listened with her hands round her cup. Then she asked questions, and they were not nice questions.

“你为什么在委员会面前问Diane她的手套的事?”

“Why did you ask Diane about her gloves in front of the council?”

“因为我想要一个回答。”

“Because I wanted an answer.”

“不。因为你想赢。”她喝了一口茶。“那Doyle先生呢?你是问他,还是告诉他?”

“No. Because you wanted to win.” She drank her tea. “And Mr Doyle? Did you ask him, or did you tell him?”

这个我没有回答。

I didn’t answer that.

“Edith,您是怎么办的?二十年,没有出过错吗?”

“How did you run it, Edith? For twenty years. Nothing went wrong?”

“每件事都出过错。每一年。”她笑了。“1994年,Joseph吐在了Mary身上。可是我总是知道为什么。因为我看孩子们。每次排练,每一分钟。谁高兴,谁生气,谁早回家,谁留下来。”她放下杯子。“Clara,你在看钥匙。要看孩子,不要看钥匙。”

“Everything went wrong. Every year.” She smiled. “In 1994 Joseph was sick on Mary. But I always knew why. Because I watched the children. Every rehearsal, every minute. Who is happy, who is angry, who goes home early, who stays.” She put down her cup. “You are watching the keys, Clara. Watch the children, not the keys.”

“孩子们没有钥匙。”

“The children don’t have keys.”

“是的,”Edith说。“他们没有。”

“No,” said Edith. “They don’t.”