Menggambar Perahu

Ana menatapnya lama. Sungai mengalir melewati mereka, hitam dan tenang. Dia memikirkan Jess di kereta ke Leeds, menyanyikan empat baris lagu yang tidak dia ketahui akhirnya. Dia memikirkan Daniel yang berkata itu bukan ceritamu. Lalu dia memikirkan seorang ayah yang tidak pernah sekalipun berbicara kepada anak perempuannya, berdiri dua kilometer darinya selama dua bulan.

Ana looked at him for a long time. The river moved past them, black and quiet. She thought about Jess on the train to Leeds, singing four lines of a song she did not know the end of. She thought about Daniel saying it isn’t your story. Then she thought about a father who had never once talked to his daughter, standing two kilometres away from her for two months.

“Sekali,” katanya akhirnya. “Aku akan memberitahunya tentang perahu-perahu itu. Aku tidak akan berbohong tentang hal lain. Kalau dia bertanya langsung kepadaku, aku akan menjawabnya. Kamu mengerti?”

“Once,” she said at last. “I’ll tell her about the boats. I won’t lie about anything else. If she asks me a direct question, I’ll answer it. Do you understand?”

“Aku mengerti,” kata Michael. Dia tampak sangat lelah, sangat berterima kasih, dan sedikit takut. “Terima kasih, Ana.” Ana tidak menjawab. Dia kembali ke dapur dan menutup pintu, dan dia tidak merasa bahwa dia telah melakukan hal yang baik. Dia hanya merasa bahwa dia telah melakukan sesuatu.

“I understand,” Michael said. He looked very tired, and very grateful, and a little afraid. “Thank you, Ana.” She did not answer. She went back into the kitchen and shut the door, and she did not feel that she had done a good thing. She only felt that she had done something.

Pada Sabtu pagi, Jess berada di meja dapur dengan portofolio terbuka di depannya. Suasana hatinya sedang buruk. Dia belum berbicara dengan baik kepada Walter sejak malam surat itu, dan universitas di London menginginkan sepuluh gambar baru sebelum akhir bulan. “Aku butuh sesuatu yang berbeda,” katanya. “Bukan bangunan. Semua orang menggambar bangunan.”

On Saturday morning, Jess was at the kitchen table with her portfolio open in front of her. She was in a bad mood. She had not spoken to Walter properly since the night of the letter, and the university in London wanted ten new drawings by the end of the month. “I need something different,” she said. “Not buildings. Everyone draws buildings.”

Ana mengeringkan tangannya perlahan dengan sehelai kain. “Bagaimana kalau perahu?” katanya. “Perahu sempit di kanal. Perahu-perahu itu seperti rumah kecil yang bergerak. Dan ada jembatan tua di atas kanal, yang memiliki lengkungan bulat.” Dia berusaha membuat suaranya terdengar biasa saja. “Kamu bisa menggambar keduanya.”

Ana dried her hands slowly on a cloth. “What about boats?” she said. “The narrowboats on the canal. They’re like small houses that move. And there’s the old bridge over the canal, the one with the round arch.” She tried to make her voice sound normal. “You could draw both.”

Jess mendongak. Untuk pertama kalinya hari itu, dia hampir tersenyum. “Rumah yang bergerak. Sebenarnya itu tidak buruk.” Dia menutup portofolionya. “Maukah kamu ikut denganku? Aku benci menggambar di luar sendirian. Orang-orang selalu ingin melihat dari balik pundak.”

Jess looked up. For the first time that day, she almost smiled. “Houses that move. That’s actually not bad.” She closed her portfolio. “Will you come with me? I hate drawing outside alone. People always want to look over your shoulder.”

Mereka berjalan di sepanjang jalan setapak tepi sungai di bawah sinar matahari yang dingin. Jess membawa buku sketsa dan sekantong pensil. Ana membawa termos teh dan perasaan berat di perutnya. Di kanal, perahu-perahu tampak cerah di bawah sinar matahari. Wanita di perahu biru sedang melukis lagi. Pria tua itu sedang memancing, seperti biasa, dan tidak menangkap apa pun, seperti biasa.

They walked along the river path in the cold sunshine. Jess carried her sketchbook and a bag of pencils. Ana carried a flask of tea and a heavy feeling in her stomach. At the canal, the boats were bright in the sun. The woman on the blue boat was painting again. The old man was fishing, as always, and caught nothing, as always.

Jess duduk di bangku dekat jembatan tua dan mulai menggambar. Ana memperhatikan tangannya bergerak cepat di atas kertas. Dalam beberapa menit ada perahu di halaman itu, lalu air, kemudian lengkungan jembatan di belakangnya. Ana pernah melihat gambar-gambar Jess sebelumnya, tetapi dia belum pernah melihatnya membuat gambar. Rasanya seperti melihat Walter membentuk roti.

Jess sat down on a bench near the old bridge and started to draw. Ana watched her hand move quickly over the paper. In a few minutes there was a boat on the page, then the water, then the curve of the bridge behind it. Ana had seen Jess’s drawings before, but she had never watched her make one. It was like watching Walter shape bread.

Lebih jauh di sepanjang kanal, Second Chance tertambat di tempat biasanya. Michael sedang duduk di atap dengan secangkir teh, membaca buku saku tua. Dia tidak mendongak. Tetapi Ana bisa melihat bahwa dia tidak membalik halaman-halamannya.

Further along the canal, the Second Chance was moored in its usual place. Michael was sitting on the roof with a mug of tea, reading an old paperback. He did not look up. But Ana could see that he was not turning the pages.

Setelah dua puluh menit, Jess memperhatikannya. “Hei, bukankah itu temanmu? Pembuat roti dari gudang?” Dia melambaikan pensilnya. “Mick! Hai!” Michael mendongak, seolah-olah dia terkejut, dan mengangkat cangkirnya. Jess menoleh kepada Ana. “Apakah itu perahunya? Itu perahu terbaik di sini. Lihat warnanya. Menurutmu apakah dia akan mengizinkanku menggambarnya?”

After twenty minutes Jess noticed him. “Hey, isn’t that your friend? The baker from the warehouse?” She waved her pencil. “Mick! Hi!” Michael looked up, as if he was surprised, and lifted his mug. Jess turned to Ana. “Is that his boat? It’s the best one here. Look at the colour. Do you think he’d let me draw it?”