Jendela Itu

Senandung itu berhenti. Kanal kembali sunyi, kecuali suara bebek dan radio di salah satu perahu lain. Jess masih menatap Second Chance, menatap lambungnya yang hijau tua dan jendela-jendela kecilnya yang bertirai. Buku sketsanya dia genggam erat sampai buku-buku jarinya memutih.

The humming stopped. The canal was quiet again, except for the ducks and a radio on one of the other boats. Jess was still staring at the Second Chance, at its dark green side and its small curtained windows. Her knuckles were white on the sketchbook.

“Kamu dengar itu?” bisiknya. “Lagu itu. Lagu apa itu? Kamu tahu?”

“Did you hear that?” she whispered. “That song. What is it? Do you know it?”

Ana berpikir sangat hati-hati sebelum menjawab. Dia telah berjanji pada diri sendiri untuk tidak berbohong jika ditanya langsung. “Aku tidak tahu apa judulnya,” katanya perlahan. Itu benar. Dia belum pernah mendengar namanya. “Terdengar seperti lagu lama.”

Ana thought very carefully before she answered. She had promised herself that she would not lie to a direct question. “I don’t know what it’s called,” she said slowly. It was true. She had never heard its name. “It sounded old.”

“Itu lagunya,” kata Jess. “Yang kuceritakan padamu di kereta. Tentang perahu dan cahaya di atas air. Seseorang menyanyikannya untukku waktu aku masih kecil.” Dia menggelengkan kepala kuat-kuat, seolah-olah ingin membuang sesuatu dari kepalanya. “Mungkin itu cuma lagu lama. Banyak orang tua tahu lagu-lagu lama. Nenek Mary menyanyikannya di toko. Separuh kota ini mungkin tahu.”

“It’s the song,” Jess said. “The one I told you about on the train. About a boat and a light on the water. Somebody sang it to me when I was little.” She shook her head hard, as if she wanted to get something out of it. “It’s probably just an old song. Lots of old people know old songs. Grandma Mary sang it in the shop. Half the town probably knows it.”

“Mungkin,” kata Ana. Kata itu tidak sepenuhnya bohong. Namun itu juga tidak sepenuhnya benar, dan dia benci betapa mudahnya kata itu meluncur.

“Probably,” Ana said. That word was not quite a lie. But it was not quite the truth either, and she hated how easily it came out.

Mereka berjalan pulang dalam diam. Jess tidak lagi bercerita tentang gambar-gambarnya, atau tentang jembatan miring itu. Dia berjalan cepat dengan memakai headphone tanpa musik yang menyala, dan dua kali dia berbalik untuk melihat ke belakang ke arah jalan setapak menuju kanal. Di rumah, dia langsung naik ke atas. Dia tidak turun untuk makan malam.

They walked home in silence. Jess did not talk about her drawings any more, or about the leaning bridge. She walked fast, with her headphones on and no music playing, and twice she turned round to look back along the path towards the canal. At home she went straight upstairs. She did not come down for dinner.

Walter menyadarinya. “Ada apa dengannya?” tanyanya kepada Ana, saat Ana sedang menyeduh teh. “Apakah dia masih marah padaku soal surat itu?”

Walter noticed. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked Ana, while she was making tea. “Is she still angry with me about the letter?”

“Mungkin,” kata Ana. “Dia lelah. Dia menggambar selama tiga jam.” Dia mengantarkan teh kepada Walter. Tangannya sedikit gemetar, dan dia bersyukur Walter tidak bisa melihatnya dengan jelas tanpa kacamata.

“Maybe,” Ana said. “She’s tired. She drew for three hours.” She took him his tea. Her hands were shaking a little, and she was glad that he could not see them clearly without his glasses.

Keesokan harinya adalah hari Minggu. Sore harinya, Ana pergi ke Shah’s untuk membeli susu. Jess sudah ada di sana, berdiri di depan meja kasir membawa sebungkus biskuit yang tidak jadi dia beli. Dia sedang berbicara dengan Priya dengan suara pelan. Ketika lonceng di atas pintu berbunyi, mereka berdua menoleh.

The next day was Sunday. In the afternoon Ana went across to Shah’s for milk. Jess was already there, standing at the counter with a packet of biscuits she was not buying. She was talking to Priya in a low voice. When the bell over the door rang, they both looked up.

“Ana, kamu bisa bantu,” kata Jess. “Aku sedang bertanya pada Priya tentang lagu Nenek Mary. Lagu yang lambat, tentang perahu. Priya kenal Nenek selama bertahun-tahun. Dia pasti tahu apa judulnya.” Dia menoleh lagi ke arah Priya. “Lagunya seperti ini.” Dan dengan suara pelan, di dalam toko yang sepi itu, Jess menyanyikan dua baris pertama.

“Ana, you can help,” Jess said. “I’m asking Priya about Grandma Mary’s song. The slow one, about the boat. Priya knew Grandma for years. She must know what it’s called.” She turned back to Priya. “It goes like this.” And quietly, in the empty shop, Jess sang the first two lines.

Ana memperhatikan wajah Priya. Sejenak Priya tidak bergerak sama sekali. Lalu semua warna hilang dari pipinya, seakan-akan ada cahaya yang padam di dalam dirinya. Tangannya bergerak ke pulpen di balik telinganya dan diam di sana.

Ana watched Priya’s face. For a moment Priya did not move at all. Then all the colour went out of her cheeks, as if a light inside her went out. Her hand went to the pen behind her ear and stayed there.

“Oh, Sayang,” kata Priya. Suaranya terdengar terlalu ceria. “Lagu lama itu. Aku tidak ingat namanya. Ingatanku buruk sekali akhir-akhir ini. Kamu mau biskuit itu? Sedang ada diskon khusus. Dua bungkus harganya tiga pound.” Dia mulai berbicara dengan sangat cepat tentang harga biskuit, tentang cuaca, dan tentang tempat-tempat sampah baru yang akan dibeli oleh balai kota.

“Oh, my dear,” Priya said. Her voice was too bright. “That old thing. I don’t remember the name. My memory is terrible these days. Do you want those biscuits? They’re on special offer. Two packets for three pounds.” She started to talk very fast about the price of biscuits, and about the weather, and about the new rubbish bins the town hall was going to buy.