Four Pages

JESS. I AM NO GOOD WITH WORDS SO I HAVE WRITTEN THEM DOWN. IF I TRY TO SAY THEM I WILL STOP HALFWAY AND MAKE A CUP OF TEA. YOU KNOW I WILL. SO READ THIS AND THEN I WILL ANSWER ANYTHING YOU ASK. THAT IS A PROMISE AND I HAVE NOT KEPT MANY.

四页纸

That was how it began. Jess had read those first lines in the corridor with a kind of weary irritation, the way she read his shopping lists, hearing his voice in every capital letter. Grandad, writing a letter. Grandad, who signed birthday cards with a single W and thought a phone call longer than two minutes was showing off. She had nearly laughed.

JESS。我不擅长表达，所以把它们写了下来。如果我试着说出来，我会在半道停下，去泡一杯茶。你知道我会的。所以读读这个吧，之后你问什么我都回答。这是一个承诺，而我信守的承诺并不多。

AFTER YOUR GRANDMOTHER DIED I STARTED TO DRINK. NOT IN THE PUB. AT HOME AT NIGHT AT THE TABLE BEFORE THE BREAD. I KEPT THE BOTTLES BEHIND THE FLOUR. YOUR FATHER KNEW. I KNEW HE KNEW. WE NEVER SAID ONE WORD ABOUT IT. THAT IS HOW WE WERE.

事情就是这样开始的。Jess带着一种疲惫的烦躁，在走廊里读完了这最初的几行，就像她平时看他的购物清单一样，在每一个大写字母里都能听到他的声音。Grandad在写信。那个在生日贺卡上只签一个W，觉得通电话超过两分钟就是在摆阔的Grandad。她差点笑出声来。