Drawing Boats

Ana looked at him for a long time. The river moved past them, black and quiet. She thought about Jess on the train to Leeds, singing four lines of a song she did not know the end of. She thought about Daniel saying it isn’t your story. Then she thought about a father who had never once talked to his daughter, standing two kilometres away from her for two months.

Ana menatapnya lama. Sungai mengalir melewati mereka, hitam dan tenang. Dia memikirkan Jess di kereta ke Leeds, menyanyikan empat baris lagu yang tidak dia ketahui akhirnya. Dia memikirkan Daniel yang berkata itu bukan ceritamu. Lalu dia memikirkan seorang ayah yang tidak pernah sekalipun berbicara kepada anak perempuannya, berdiri dua kilometer darinya selama dua bulan.

“Once,” she said at last. “I’ll tell her about the boats. I won’t lie about anything else. If she asks me a direct question, I’ll answer it. Do you understand?”

“Sekali,” katanya akhirnya. “Aku akan memberitahunya tentang perahu-perahu itu. Aku tidak akan berbohong tentang hal lain. Kalau dia bertanya langsung kepadaku, aku akan menjawabnya. Kamu mengerti?”

“I understand,” Michael said. He looked very tired, and very grateful, and a little afraid. “Thank you, Ana.” She did not answer. She went back into the kitchen and shut the door, and she did not feel that she had done a good thing. She only felt that she had done something.

“Aku mengerti,” kata Michael. Dia tampak sangat lelah, sangat berterima kasih, dan sedikit takut. “Terima kasih, Ana.” Ana tidak menjawab. Dia kembali ke dapur dan menutup pintu, dan dia tidak merasa bahwa dia telah melakukan hal yang baik. Dia hanya merasa bahwa dia telah melakukan sesuatu.